Wednesday March 29, 2017
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Erna Mahyuni

Erna tweets too much on @ernamh. Angry Sabah native, slave to her dog/cat and blogs at ernamahyuni.com

MARCH 29 ― Another day, another baby left in a dumpster and more of the hue and cry, with Utusan and some bearded blokes saying it's the “sign of end times.”

Here's the thing: religious folks think that the only way for baby dumping to not happen is for people to be God-fearing, quit having kids out of wedlock and no baby will never need to be dumped.

The reality is, people will have sex. We are wired to want sex. Sometimes that biological urge can push people to throw caution to the wind when there are two, or maybe more, willing participants in carnal frivolity.

Let's also be real ― if sex wasn't pleasurable, women would just not get pregnant because nine months of hauling a literal parasite and risking death would not be appealing.

Studies have also shown that in marriages, men are usually happier and women? Not so much. Heck, even the longest living women interviewed have stated that being without a man has helped them live longer.

To be honest, I've always found the whole “giving birth to your own kid” thing overrated. I wish more people would adopt. So many kids out there who need parents but no, the average person wants a baby and one sharing the same DNA.

Instead of women being appreciated more for being walking receptacles of life, it is troubling that it is seen as a weakness and a failing. Maternity leave in the US is still not mandated, which is ridiculous considering the physical frailness a woman experiences after a birth.

If babies are such a commodity, seeing as how they are the target of kidnapping and sale, why are so many dumped?

It's called fear. Shame. Ostracisation. Silly things on Twitter by people saying that illegitimate children are somehow less blessed by God.

No child should be otracised for poor decisions made by parents. A child is born, leave it at that.

This Twitter user was told that children born out of wedlock's good deeds were judged differently by God. ― Twitter picThis Twitter user was told that children born out of wedlock's good deeds were judged differently by God. ― Twitter picYet it disturbs our socially conservative society's notion that an ideal family is the nuclear one, with maybe an extended family thrown into the mix.

Let women adopt or even choose to get pregnant without getting hitched. Because while sperm doesn't really have an expiry date, women's eggs do.

It sounds heretical ― why, yes, it sounds completely irreligious to care about how babies born out of wedlock came to be.

It is possible to keep babies safe, and unwed mothers safe ― if we give up on the impossible: making people stop having sex outside legal boundaries. That is not going to happen unless you chemically neuter the entire population until a breeding (wedding) license is procured.

Save the babies, get less hung up over sex. And stop encouraging grown men to hide in the bushes with flashlights to get off on watching people make out, Malaysia.

* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.

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